Relationship Anxiety?

If you’ve ever stared at your phone, rereading your last message five times, wondering if you said too much (or too little), you’re not alone. Modern dating — especially through apps and texting — can trigger anxiety in ways we don’t always talk about.

At Calm Anxiety CBT Clinic on Chicago’s North Side, we frequently hear from clients navigating relationship anxiety in today’s digital world. Many of them aren’t sure whether what they’re experiencing is normal nervousness or something deeper — like dating anxiety, texting anxiety, or even relationship OCD (ROCD).

Let’s break down what these terms mean, how anxiety shows up in our relationships, and how you can manage it — especially if you’re dating in a fast-paced city like Chicago.

What Is Relationship Anxiety?

Relationship anxiety refers to persistent worry, doubt, or fear related to romantic relationships — especially in the early stages. Unlike typical nervousness that fades with time, relationship anxiety tends to stick around, showing up as overthinking, fear of rejection, or obsessive questioning like:

“Do they really like me?”
“Why haven’t they texted back?”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“What if I mess this up?”

This form of anxiety can feel especially intense in the context of modern dating apps, where uncertainty and ambiguity are baked into the experience.

Dating Apps: The Perfect Storm for Anxiety

Apps like Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder were designed to give you options — but they can also magnify self-doubt, rejection sensitivity, and decision fatigue.

Here’s how dating anxiety often shows up in app culture:

1 Swiping Burnout
You spend hours swiping, matching, and messaging — but still feel unsatisfied or more anxious. You start to wonder if something’s wrong with you for not “clicking” with anyone.

2 Fear of Ghosting
The threat of being ghosted looms large. You find yourself overanalyzing every message and second-guessing whether you’re too forward or not responsive enough.

3 Comparison Spiral
You might compare yourself to other profiles or worry you’re not “interesting” or “attractive” enough, leading to feelings of inadequacy or perfectionism.

4 Inconsistent Messaging
You get a flurry of texts one day, then radio silence the next. This inconsistency can create emotional whiplash for anyone — but especially those prone to anxiety.

Texting Anxiety: When Silence Feels Like Rejection

Texting is now one of the primary ways couples get to know each other. But its informal, ambiguous nature makes it a breeding ground for anxious thoughts.

Do any of these sound familiar?

You feel distressed when someone doesn’t reply right away
You reread your own messages obsessively, looking for mistakes
You interpret short replies as anger or disinterest
You feel the urge to “fix” things immediately when you sense something’s off

These experiences may be part of texting anxiety — a common issue tied to attachment style, communication history, and underlying anxiety patterns.

In Chicago’s dating culture, where schedules are packed and communication often happens in short bursts between work or social events, it’s easy to misinterpret pauses in texting as rejection or abandonment.

When Anxiety Turns Obsessive: Relationship OCD (ROCD)

Some people experience a more specific and intrusive form of anxiety called Relationship OCD, or ROCD. It’s a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder that fixates on doubts and fears related to relationships.

Signs of ROCD include:

Obsessively questioning whether you’re “really” in love
Repeatedly seeking reassurance about your partner’s feelings
Fixating on your partner’s perceived flaws
Compulsively Googling “signs of a healthy relationship”
Worrying you’ll never feel certain enough

People with ROCD often feel like they’re the only ones who can’t “just relax” and enjoy the relationship. But this isn’t about being difficult — it’s a mental health issue that can be addressed with treatment, especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).

Why Dating in Chicago Feeds Relationship Anxiety

Chicago is an amazing city — full of interesting people, cultural events, and vibrant neighborhoods like Wicker Park, Lincoln Square, or Logan Square. But dating here comes with its own unique set of stressors:

Busy lifestyles make it harder to maintain consistent communication
Large dating pools can create a sense of replaceability
Midwestern politeness often leads to indirect communication
Winter isolation sometimes intensifies emotional highs and lows

These local dynamics can heighten anxiety, especially if you already struggle with uncertainty, rejection sensitivity, or self-worth.

How CBT Can Help with Dating and Relationship Anxiety

At Calm Anxiety CBT Clinic, we specialize in working with individuals dealing with the unique stress of modern relationships. Whether you’re navigating app fatigue, texting overanalysis, or intrusive ROCD thoughts, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy offers effective tools to help you:

Identify and challenge anxious thought patterns
Learn emotional regulation skills for uncertainty and delay
Practice healthier communication and boundary-setting
Let go of perfectionism and people-pleasing tendencies
Develop a secure sense of self within relationships

CBT can also be tailored to address texting-specific anxiety and patterns of overchecking or reassurance-seeking that often keep anxiety stuck.

You’re Not Alone — And You Don’t Have to Overthink Every Message

If you feel like you’re the only one obsessing over text messages or struggling to relax in early dating — you’re not. Dating in the modern world is confusing, fast-paced, and full of emotional landmines, especially in a city like Chicago.

The good news? Anxiety doesn’t have to keep running the show.

With support and evidence-based strategies, you can learn to date with more confidence, communicate with more clarity, and stop second-guessing your every move.

Need support navigating relationship anxiety in Chicago?
Calm Anxiety CBT Clinic offers therapy for dating anxiety, texting anxiety, and relationship OCD — both in-person on Chicago’s North Side and through virtual sessions across Illinois.

Reach out today for a free consultation. Your relationships — and your peace of mind — are worth it.